Skip to main content

Birds & Bees... Not STIDs



February is the month for exploit—I mean—celebrating love!
Romance fiction does that 24/7/365, which is awesome.

What’s NOT awesome?

Far too many contemporary hetero romance novels still include scenes similar to the following:
Things are getting hot and heavy. Clothes are coming off, then they realize no one has any condoms.

He says,” I’m clean.”

She says, “Me, too. And I’m on birth control. I’m safe.” (Or “I’m protected.”)

My thoughts as a reader: No you’re not!

[This author’s confession: I’m a reformed offender in the general category of scientific fact versus fiction regarding medical accuracy in sex scenes. Ex. as in physical evidence of virginity.]

Even acknowledging that it’s fiction with expectations of creative license and a reader’s suspension of disbelief doesn’t make any variation on the core message of this factually untrue exchange acceptable this far into the 21st(!) century. Sexual activity involves risks. Safer sex practices* mitigate them. Rates of sexually transmitted infections and diseases have generally been increasing, not declining, in recent years in the U.S. with a trend toward steeper rates of infection among young adults and senior citizens. [CDC]
(Surprise! AARP membership and sexy times are not mutually exclusive.) 

Here are two books** that can help people make informed decisions about their sexual activities and their overall medical health as proactive collaborators with their healthcare professionals. (And yes, unfortunately, easy, equitable access to affordable, high-quality healthcare is not—yet—a universal truth.)

*Thanks to uberlube.com for the free samples, and their site’s suggestion for users to test the compatibility the lube with toys, etc.

**No matter how accurate, books are not substitutes for consultation with and treatment by scientifically informed, accredited, licensed and board certified medical professionals.



Sex for Dummies, 4th Edition
By Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer with Pierre A. Lehu
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.  October 2019


On page 39 Dr. Ruth states that “good sexual functioning is the primary purpose of this book.” It delivers. A brief overview of the scientific studies conducted by Masters, Johnson, and the author’s mentor, Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan segues into explanations of basic anatomy, terminology, and instructive anecdotes. All of the information is presented in manageable blocks of related details that flow on the page as if spoken by Dr. Ruth directly into the reader’s ear. Although early on Sex for Dummies acknowledges its heterosexual focus, throwback heteronormative assumptions are noticeable. This observation on page 122 is one of them: “…finding out about an unintended pregnancy can be one of the loneliest and scariest moments of an unmarried woman’s life.” Marital status alone doesn’t dictate a person’s attitude toward an unintended pregnancy. Commentary about date rape and abortions, porn, and prostitution may also generate robust debate. Icons, illustrations, side bars, subheadings, and an appendix full of suggested resources, combined with Dr. Ruth’s pragmatic approach to healthy sex as an essential element of life presents medical information in an accessible way.


Our Bodies, Ourselves, 40th Anniversary Edition
The Boston Women’s Health Collective and Judy Norsigian
Atria Books  October 2011


Originally conceived at a time when the bikini approach (Dr. Tara Narula’s phrase) to treating women’s medical health was the norm, Our Bodies, Ourselves supported a holistic philosophy upon which this fortieth anniversary edition continues and expands. It’s a comprehensive user’s manual for female human bodies. Based in scientific fact, this text does not judge; it provides essential information to encourage people to make thoughtful choices based on their specific circumstances. There’s a hierarchical ranking of sexual activities from most to least risk that may generate some debate among medical professionals.

Although it addresses an exhaustive range of medical considerations and phases of life, Our Bodies, Ourselves does not eliminate the need for regular in-person consultation with legitimate medical professionals. This text does offer readers information that helps facilitate a deeper understanding of one’s body or partner’s/partners’ bodies, and effectiveness in conversations between patients and medical practitioners. It encourages people to become informed consumers of and advocates for their overall healthcare.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Poet Laureate's Memoir + More TWWBF2025 Prep

Educator, poet, short story author, mindfulness guide and now the moniker of memoirist has been added to the long list of creative accomplishments earned by Poet Laureate of The Write Women Book Fest Aressa V. Williams.  She was born and raised in the vibrant community of Washington, D.C.'s Northeast neighborhood of Deanwood. Her Memoir evokes the nostalgia, challenges, victories, heartaches and joys of her life that connect with readers across generations and locations.    [photo credit: H.L. Brooks; image: two paperback ARCs of In Deanwood, A Memoir by Aressa Verdell Williams arranged on a tabletop; cover art of a sepia toned two-story colonial house with four columns - two on each side of the front door]  The ebook is currently available with print copies coming soon! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-deanwood-aressa-verdell-williams/1147594007   Just under 3 weeks before day one of The Write Women Book Fest and we've finished decorating t-shirts for our aw...

DIY Marketing TWWBF2025 + the Usual BAC Issues

Six(!) days until day one of the 6th and grand finale year of The Write Women Book Fest!!!  Last week was another hard one for federal workers in the DMV area along with other ongoing challenges, making it tough for a lot of people to prioritize joy. This coming weekend TWWBF2025 intends to celebrate and support talented authors, poets, creatives, and publishing industry professionals and their work, readers and literacy advocates while we also celebrate everything positive that this event has contributed to our community since 2019. [a two-image collage: right side - two posters atop the closed lid of a baby grand piano; both with "The Write Women Book Fest, 100+ authors Golden Angel, Eden Appiah-Kubi, Courtney Duke Foster, Jeaniene Frost, Maria Vale, Erin Wright, EC Poetry & Prose, July 19th QR Code thewritewomenbookfest.org, Use code FESTNEWS25 for 30% off!"; left side - an incomplete poster with "The Write Women Book Fest" and a blank sheet of paper with a g...

Tapping into Your Power

The following two books celebrate powerful characters who overcome their fears to manifest their greatness for the benefit of themselves, their loved ones and communities. So satisfying.  [2 books from left to right: A Witch's Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna, Direct Descendant by Tanya Huff]  A Witch's Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna  contemporary speculative romance  Berkeley, July 2025   Sera's story of navigating otherness was worth the wait. The advantages, responsibilities, and consequences of being powerful are explored with nuanced observations, humor, and compassion. Themes on distinctions between family by blood, choice, and intention weave throughout this poignant tale about paying attention and recognizing personal details as fundamental to the evolution of one's perspective on who and what are valuable.  One of my favorite passages from the end of chapter nineteen:  Like this was a thing that had, somehow, become...